


Selfless Self-Destruction

by androgenius



Category: Nancy Drew (Video Games), Nancy Drew - Carolyn Keene, Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys Super Mysteries - Franklin W. Dixon & Carolyn Keene
Genre: (no actual sex occurs in this story), Alcohol, F/M, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 19:33:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8413885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgenius/pseuds/androgenius
Summary: While Frank and Joe are visiting River Heights, they get to witness Nancy and Ned fight. Soon after, Ned confides in Frank and confesses that he needs help. He wants Frank's advice.





	

Under normal circumstances, Frank Hardy is an angry drunk. He doesn’t get drunk often, but when he does, it’s a sight to behold. 

These, however, are not normal circumstances. 

He’s on his fourth glass of... whatever the fuck fruity shit Bess put in his hand, and all he can think about is Nancy. 

She’s the catalyst. 

She changes everything. 

Joe knows it, too, always there to occasionally elbow Frank in the ribs when he catches him staring longingly across the room again when he should be paying attention to the words another person is saying. 

He really couldn’t give less of a shit. 

She’s been talking to Ned-- quiet, hushed whispers that he couldn’t overhear even if he was standing right next to them, and not just fighting to block out every other sound in the room so he might catch the occasional word from several--  _several_ \-- yards away.

She’s been standing close to him because of how quietly they’ve been talking, but Nancy’s facial expression has been keeping him from losing it a little bit. 

But then she and Ned quietly disappear into her room upstairs, and he can’t see straight anymore. 

Joe is a very normal drunk-- alcohol just seems to amplify every one of his characteristics. Bess is a giggly drunk. Nothing about George changes whatsoever, unless you count her willingness to come out of the closet every time there’s so much as a drop of booze in her, as though she still needs the failsafe there to fall back on--  _no, no, I’m not_ gay _, I was just_ drunk. 

She wasn’t. She was just honest. 

It’s how he knows that the feelings flaring up inside of him right now are just about as honest as it gets. 

Love. Longing. Jealousy. Anger. Hatred. 

At one point, he starts gripping the glass in his hand so tightly that even Joe notices that something is  _seriously_  wrong, his knuckles starting to take an appropriate shade of white from the strain as he stares ahead of himself at nothing in particular even as Joe slowly eases the glass out of his fist and tries to talk him down. 

_No, Joe, I just really fucking hate that particular spot on the wall._

What he doesn’t expect to hear from Nancy’s room is the distinct sound of glass shattering upstairs. Not that he had been exactly  _expecting_ to hear Nancy’s bedframe repeatedly hit the wall-- it is Nancy, after all-- but he sure had really been fucking hoping he wouldn’t. 

The sound he does hear, though, has him racing upstairs in an instant, Frank pointedly ignoring first Joe’s voice from behind him and then the steps that follow.

He’s about to wrench open Nancy’s door when it opens of its own accord, Frank met with Nancy herself looking absolutely furious. 

The sight of him seems to soften her expression somewhat, but it still doesn’t stop her from walking past him, Joe’s eyes widening as he slooowly backs away from whatever the fuck he was just privy to. 

Frank’s mission is unchanged-- to check on Nancy and make sure that she is okay, above all else. 

But then he hears Ned’s voice cut through the blur of his thoughts from behind him, and Frank freezes. 

“Hey, Frank? Can I... ask for your advice?”

He really hesitates. Is about to tell Ned to go shove his need for advice up his own ass before charging on after Nancy. But that’s also not the kind of person he knows himself to be. 

The kind of person he imagines Nancy could come to love, maybe, someday. 

And he feels himself turn around. 

Ned, it would seem, is an emotional drunk. He looks sheepish as fuck about asking advice in the first place, and Frank takes in a deep breath, deciding to acquiesce to the demands of his conscience. 

He’s too good of a person. 

It’s why Frank feels himself-- somewhat awkwardly-- walk into Nancy’s room, a space he considers to be almost sacred. He’s never been in here before, and the sight of something so very much like her is almost enough to turn Frank into an emotional drunk, too. 

“What’s, um.” He swallows. This is awkward. He has no idea why he wouldn’t have just asked Joe for help. “What’s going on?”

“I was going to ask Joe for help, but... you really seem to get Nancy in a way that I don’t, so I figured it would make more sense to come to you.”

Ah. Wonderful. That’s just great. 

“What, uh...” he takes a slow survey of the room, “exactly happened?”

He can put the pieces together himself, really. It’s not that difficult. Nancy’s room is almost meticulously kept clean and well-organized, so the picture frame lying front-face down on the floor tells the story pretty well. He imagines that should explain the story behind the glass, too.

“I don’t know. She... came back from her case in Iceland the other day. Brought me back a teddy bear, so that was nice. But, uh. It was our anniversary on the day she got there. Planned it way in advance. Made a reservation and everything. I mean... I pulled out the works, because... I figured, well, she’s  _Nancy_ , so she deserves the best.” He can’t disagree with him there. That fact actually sort of annoys him. Ned isn’t supposed to have valid, redeemable thoughts. “And, well... she forgot about it. And I was... pretty upset. Because I had been hoping to... you know...”

“Nnnno,” he shakes his head. “I don’t, sorry.”

In this case, he’s actually sorry. He doesn’t really want to know what he was hoping to do with Nancy. 

“Uh, well,” his hand moves nervously to the back of his neck. “I was hoping to tell her that... while I’ve been really worried for her in the past and wished she wouldn’t put herself into danger all the time, I also trust her. I know she’s capable. So I wanted to tell her that I love her, you know?”

 _Oh_. Ned has no fucking idea just  _how_ well he knows. 

“I’m, uh. Familiar with the concept, yes.”

“I... ended up doing it over the phone. And she... well, she said she wasn’t sure how she felt,” Frank momentarily feels his insides light up, going slack-jawed before he realizes it and rapidly pulls himself together again, “which I guess I understand because doing it over the phone was less than tactful. And all of that would have been fine, except that...”

He trails off. Frank waits. Ned seems to have lost his nerve somewhere along the way.

“... except that...?”

“... except that...” he hesitates again, his expression painfully verklempt before he finally just inclines his head to the spot on Nancy’s bed beside him. 

Frank freezes. Slowly shakes his head in a way he hopes to appear casual. “I’m... fine. Uh. Here.”

Ned inclines his head again, a bit more insistently this time.

It would be insane if a normal person refused to sit on a  _bed_ just because they thought that their first time on that bed would be with the woman they love, because a normal person would not be head over heels in love with a woman they can’t have. 

So he moves to sit somewhat awkwardly, Ned careful not to look at him as they both stare ahead of themselves-- Frank at Nancy’s sitting area, Ned at the floor. 

His voice is a great deal quieter when he next speaks, so he at least realizes why the need for him to sit on here even existed in the first place. 

“... except that I wanted to make love to Nancy for the first time that night.”

Frank feels like he might throw up. On the one hand, he can’t  _believe_ they  _haven’t_ \-- is actually  _really_ fucking happy about that fact, nevermind that-- but on the other, he also can’t believe that this is something approaching quickly, looming close and threateningly on the horizon, like he’s staring down the barrel of a gun, uncertain of just when it might fire and kill him. Like he’s running out of time. 

“ _Oh_.”

His hand is trembling. Ned doesn’t notice

“ _Yeah_.”

He clears his throat somewhat awkwardly. Very awkwardly. “So, uh-- what, um-- what are you... looking for advice on... exactly...”

“Well, uh... since she wasn’t here for our anniversary, I had been hoping to... plan it for when she got back. But... then she forgot to tell me about... this... thing... she had been planning with Bess and George, you know, since you two were coming into town. So... my plans for tonight with her fell through again. And I was upset. And, well, you know how she can be. Kind of... stubborn about the way she handles her schedule. So she got defensive, and I... said some things... about how I was starting to think that it was just never going to happen, and then she got  _more_ defensive...”

“Well, I’m sure you can just reschedule your dinner reservations for another night.”

“No, not that. Sex.”

Something in Frank’s brain breaks. Shatters. Irreparable-- if only because he knows exactly what’s coming next.  

“And... I was just wondering... how you might... you know... set it up so that it would be worthy of someone like Nancy. I mean-- just, like, maybe imagine if it was  _you_ , and Nancy was the love of  _your_ life, the girl you wanted to marry someday.” Frank swallows hard. Thinks he might start to cry right here on Nancy’s fucking bed. “How... do you do that justice? How do you make... the first time worthwhile?”

Frank holds back his laughter, laughter that would likely come out tear-stained and all too telling. Ned has no fucking idea. 

He’s never had to imagine it was him. It’s always  _been_ him.

“If... uh. If it were me... I wouldn’t... take her out to dinner. I mean, it’s  _Nancy_. Dinner is way too predictable for her for that kind of thing. Like, maybe for a first date, sure, but not, uh. Not with that. I mean-- you don’t want to lead her onto thinking that that night is anything special, otherwise she’ll feel pressured to do it, you know? And you want her to do it with you only because she wants to, and because the moment is right. So you don’t... plan that kind of thing. You just... wait until there’s a night when you two have the-- the necessary privacy... and it feels right. You’re looking at each other like... the other person is the only one in the room. And... you’ll know it’s right because Nancy will have been the one to say she loves you. Now, this might take some time, but... when she does, all the waiting will have been worth it.”

“Um, yeah. I get... all that. Uh. I mean... after that.”

Hahahahaha, fuck no.

“After that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“You’ve... had sex, right?”

Ned shakes his head, shrugging way too nonchalantly. “Nancy’s the only girl that I’ve ever dated. Ever... wanted to be with like that.”

“And you... want to know... how to make it good for her?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

Frank feels sick to his stomach. 

“Uh.”  _Fuck_. “Okay, well... if it was me... I’d probably start by kissing her.”

“Sure.”

“Like... my hand in her hair, the other one maybe on the back of her neck... the whole works. And... keep that going for a while. Like, until she starts to feel restless, because... if she wants to do it, she will.” 

Frank makes a mistake and closes his eyes. Imagines it’s actually them. It’s not hard. He’s thought about it more times than he can count. Fell asleep to thoughts of it more nights than he didn’t. In a lot of ways, he can’t remember a time before Nancy, anymore.

“And... when she’s ready, I’d... let my hand start trailing down her front. If she’s still unsure, she’ll stop me right there. But if she’s not, she’ll just... help my hand move down to her breast. But... I don’t want to lend any part of her just a... cursory bit of attention. I want to make sure she knows that I love her... wrist just as much as I love her breasts. So I take my time. Having gotten permission from her, I start... kissing my way up the inside of her arm, which lets me move to her neck, where I’d stay until she started making... the sweetest little noises. Those would be my indicator that I should keep moving. I don’t want to give her too much, too soon... not yet, anyway. 

“From there, I’d slowly start to help her take off her top. If she’s wearing a dress, maybe just... pull it down a bit so I can kiss her chest just above where her breasts are and work my way down from there, being sure to take my time. If she’s wearing a blouse... maybe I’d unbutton just the top one and see if she says anything. If she doesn’t... I’d dare to unbutton the second one... and keep going like that. And eventually, if I’ve been doing it right... she’ll unhook her bra and take it off herself. 

“It’s then that I help her lie back on her bed... and take my shirt off. I... I get on all fours over her and start earnestly working my way down her body, stopping to make sure I lend both of her breasts the attention they deserve. Slow, like I’m... like I’m set to keep doing it until she starts begging me for more. And then... I kiss my way down her stomach, taking my time to appreciate it before I help her out of her... jeans or her skirt, maybe. If she’s wearing a dress, this is when it would go over her head before i would help her slip her stockings off of her, or maybe her socks, if she’s wearing any. I shuck off my slacks with her help and get rid of my socks, too.

“But... I’m not ready to take off her panties yet, no. This isn’t a race to the finish line. It’s a... it’s my chance to show her that I worship her like she deserves to be worshipped. So I start kissing my way up from the inside of her ankle... keep going until I reach the part where her thigh meets her panties... and then I do the other side, because by the time I’m done with that, she’s bound to be a puddle of goo. She’ll... help me take off her panties, and... I’d get to look at her for the first time completely. And she’s... enchanting to look at, so I’d tell her that she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Because she is. Magazines don’t even... compare to the beauty I see in her. 

“And because this is her first time, I’d take my time kissing her again, because she’s bound to be nervous. I kiss her for as long as she wants, and then tell her that if she wants to stop... anytime, she should just tell me, because she means so much more to me than sex ever could and I could... wait forever for her. And if she does decide that she wants to keep going... then I turn my attention to her, um--”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Frank swallows hard. “I’d... stay down there as long as it took until she had come at least twice. Eating her out is good and all that, and I might do that for a little bit, but... I also know that there is exactly one place I should be focusing on, and so I do. I... write the alphabet if I have to, but more than anything, I’d focus on her responses, on the noises from her. Maybe ask her if I’m doing it right or if there’s something else I should be doing. She might even grab onto my hair and try to pull me closer, but no matter how much it hurts, I don’t stop, because I know it means that she’s close. 

“At one point, I’d... add in a finger. Then... two when I think she’s ready. I... take my time, because I know she’s going to be tight, since this is her first time. So I work to help relax her. At one point, when I think that she’s getting there, I’d start... moving them in and out, but slowly, because I know it’ll feel good. And then... I might try to find her g-spot by curling my fingers up. I’d know when I hit it because... she’ll let me know. 

“If I do all of this this right, there will come a point when she’ll be exhausted from coming so much, and she’ll drag me up and off of her to kiss her again. It’s... then that I make sure she’s certain she wants this, and... if she’s really sure, I’ll know.” He takes in a deep breath, swallowing hard. “I’d put on the condom and… then I’d... help her wrap her legs around my waist... and start to enter her slowly. Really...  _really_  slowly. It’ll be really hard not to move, but this is also Nancy, and she’s worth... all of that effort and more. If I hit resistance, I’d ask her what she’d prefer-- for me to do it fast, or for me to take my time and ease my way in. Either way, I’m there for her every step of the way, and I make sure she knows that if she wants to stop, then we stop immediately, no questions asked and just cuddle the rest of the night. 

“But... if she doesn’t... then... once I’m totally inside of her, I’d... just wait. I know it’ll be hard, but… it’s Nancy, so I wait however long she needs me to to adjust until I start to move. And… when I start to move, I’d start out slowly until she starts begging me to go faster. I’d speed up a little, make sure she’s still okay, and then, once we’re at a comfortable pace, I’d kiss her again. I’d move my hand between our bodies and… keep stimulating her clit. This is her first time, so… she deserves for me to make this as good for her as I possibly can. And… if it’s possible, I’ll try to make her come one more time while I’m inside of her before finishing myself.

“And… then I’d just hold her for a while. Check that she’s okay. Kiss her-- everywhere. Make sure she knows that I love her... more than life itself. After a while... once I could bear to pull away from her at all... I’d pull out of her, get rid of the condom, and then get back into bed with her and spoon her... maybe kiss her shoulder, her neck... and... we could... talk if she wanted to, or I could just hold her.”

He clears his throat, finally opening his eyes again. 

He’s on Nancy’s bed, but she’s not in his arms, and he feels very much like he just punched himself in the gut.

“Wow, uh... you’re really good at explaining that. You should like... teach a seminar, or something.”

Frank resists the bitter laugh that seems to rise in his throat like bile only for his thoughts to be interrupted by the sight of Nancy in the doorway, Ned quick to jump to his feet.

“Nancy-- I’m sorry. If you never want to do dinner, then that’ll be all right with me, too, because being with you is the only thing that really matters to me.”

She noticed Frank the second she stepped into the room, and even now, her gaze resists leaving his as she slowly looks back at Ned.

“... I know. I’m... sorry, too.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Frank watches him kiss her on the cheek and feels his eyes start to get damp. “Want to head back down to the party?”

“Yeah... you coming, too, Frank?” 

And when Nancy looks at him, he can’t help but wonder if she doesn’t know. 

“Yeah. I’m coming. I’ll be just a minute.”

He can’t imagine why she wouldn’t.


End file.
